Ten things I am/do that I was not/did not do before

1. I sniff babies bums. And not just those belonging to me. Going on the poop trail is a parents prerogative.

2. Cuticura anti-bacterial hand hygiene gel runs through my veins.

3. I spend an awful lot of time at ground level being dragged around whilst clutching, with pure determination, a popper.

4. My childhood spent with a slightly neurotic mother suddenly makes sense

5. I don't know which way to turn.

6. The owner of my local bakers is called Greg (oh the irony). He has three children but only one still lives at home. His wife recommends the custard tarts. He, on the other hand, prefers a danish. I have invited them round for Christmas drinks.

7. I do a very convincing Cock-a-doodle-doooooooo.

8. I have no shame, nor indeed inhibitions - I sing with full voice and read with exaggerated expression and always with accompanying hand gestures.

9. I smell of rice cake

10. I am never alone, even when no one else is in the room. Love, Love, Love.