Oh no...the tantrums have started!

Mr Scruff and I are shell shocked.

Stunned.

Lost for words.

You see Little Miss P, light of our lives, our darling angel, has started the terrible twos phase aged 18 months. Yes there have been times when we have tutted at her madam like behaviour, joked at her grizzles, but boy, nothing could have prepared us for this.

Sunday night started off as usual. There were moans and grizzles at bath time. Nothing new there. She has never really liked having a bath but as usual we got through it unscathed.

Nappy, pajamas, bot bot (that's milk to you and me), book. So far so good. In fact reading to Little Miss P is an absolute joy. She absorbs every word and picture and I can feel how much pleasure she gets from stories. In fact one story leads to three as she cannot get enough.

Books read, teeth cleaned, light dimmed.

As we put her in her sleeping bag and cot, the tears and resistance began. The tears turned to cries, the cries to screams. We left her thinking she'll settle in a minute or so.

Oh no, fifteen minutes later, we were faced with a very frustrated and angry little monkey. The sleeping bag had been ripped off and she was rocking the cot back and forth. Mr Scruff scooped her up and the scooby doo legs were going ten to the dozen, back arched, arms punching the air.

Fast forward half an hour. No change. By now, Mr Scruff is turning a shade of red, smoke coming out of his ears. I could physically see his patience thinning before my eyes. Time to take over.

Well, I got my hair pulled, kicked and bitten.

We tried desperately to stay calm, and we did, but eventually, after about an hour and a half, we had to just put her in the cot and shut the bedroom door. And that was it. Silence.

Since then, there has been more. Serious back arching refusing to get into the car seat. Laying in the park playground refusing to move, legs and hands punching the ground. She even had a paddy tonight because I wouldn't give her some Calpol that she could see on the shelf.

Sigh.

I have been shopping. To Waterstones and bought a book on How to Deal with Toddler Tantrums.

We have some serious reading to do!

33 weeks...

I am having a wobbly week, (hence the lack of posts).

I am tired, really tired. Last week I had a tummy bug which drained me. I have also been on two day trips to Paris for work. Although they didn't involve overnight stays (and it is always nice to say 'Bonjour'), they have knocked me for six. And Little Miss P has been very poorly. She is off her food, is a bit shaky and grizzles all day and night. We are thinking ear infection.

Perhaps this, coupled with raging hormones, is why I am feeling so emotional. I have been prone in the past to retreat into myself when I am feeling blue. I tend to shut my door and put up a 'do not disturb' sign. You can knock, but I won't answer.

I am feeling a little anxious about my pregnancy. You see I haven't nutured myself nor my growing baby. With Little Miss P, I threw myself into pregnancy and maintained an incredibly zen like attitude throughout. Unfortunately I had a very traumatic labour after being induced at 42 weeks, which led to a huge sense of disappointment. Despite my physical and mental preparation, I didn't have the birth I wanted.

The first half of this pregnancy, I shooed away any notions of preparing myself the way I did before. I mean, it failed me right? Well, recently I have thought, maybe, just maybe this time, it could work. Despite this revelation, there has been no 'me and my bump' time, and this is sending me into a panic - talk about defeating the point.

I am also worried that the house is a marathon off from being finished. I think I'll be introducing the newby to a building site. I'm very laid back about the pace at which we are renovating Fairy Cottage (I have no choice) but my nesting instincts are taking hold.

Then theres Little Miss P and my fears for her. We bought her a bed this week, which has freaked me out because suddenly I want to find the pause button. I have been pining over baby photos wondering where the time has gone. Questioning whether I have savoured every moment of her growing up enough. I worry about how she will react having her precious pram and cot taken away from her and will I be able to give her the attention and support she needs.

Oh findlesticks. I read through this and know how silly I sound. It's not just me is it? Do you have days, weeks even, when you can't get rid of the black cloud?

I promise you (and myself) a more cheery post next, and I won't leave it so long!

Motherhood

This weeks Gallery prompt (check out Sticky Fingers for more info), is a very special one indeed. Motherhood.

I could write a book about what being a mother means to me and how I have changed as a person, my life flipping upside down in the most magical way possible. But this is a photo project, so I am going to shut up and let my pictures take you on my journey.

I nurtured and nested. Waddled with weight. Grew in size and in excitement.

 I never though THIS pic would ever be seen by anyone!!!


I went through labour. We had a tough time, me and Little Miss P. Traumatic and dramatic, but we did it - together...

                                                                 .....Let alone this one!!!!



We have bonded....

...through sleepless nights....

And fun filled days.

There have been tears...

And lots and lots of laughter...

There have been so many special moments shared...

On our wedding day and Little Miss P's christening - a two for one do!


But best of all we have grown together, learning and teaching each other as we go...

Enjoying every precious moment.

To my beautiful little girl who has lit up my heart and my life......THANK YOU xxx

17 months and asserting her voice!

Little Miss P is now in her 18th month. Here's what she has been up to...

The tantrums have started. Take yesturday when she woke from her lunchtime nap. Talk about getting out of the wrong side of the pram. Cor, what a scream. Not only that but she lay on the floor kicking her feet. Nothing, NOTHING I could do could console her.

She understands so much, which is proving great fun when I need her to pass me something - just turn it into a game and I can sit pretty! She is saying the odd sentence too. 'Strawberry' and 'ball' seem to be her favourite words.

She is full of compassion. I stubbed my toe and yes I screamed but along came Little Miss P and gave my toe a rub. The best remedy! And when the pregnancy hormones took over and I had a good cry, her little head came and rested on my lap with a look of concern in her eye so intense my tears just washed away.

She loves music class. Rather than sit on my lap, she will run round the room, arms flapping, singing away at the top of her voice. But she does it not in a center of attention way, but in a 'I'm having a ball' way. And she is always the last to select the instrument from the box, allowing all the other kids first dibs! She's happy with whatever is left!

She is self willed, happy, loving, daring, demanding.

She challenges me. If she touches the oven and say "No, It's hot, hurt". She'll give me a little glint in her eye and then touch it quickly again, and again, and again....

Storytime no longer happens at bedtime. It happens when she wakes up, mid morning, before her lunchtime nap, after her lunchtime nap, before tea, after tea and yes before bed. Phew, the girl just loves to read. I can recite at least half her books without having to look at the words.

She likes to run round and round the sofa, round and round and round and round and round and round and round........

She doesn't like asparagus but will pop a whole strawberry in her mouth in one.

The obsession with cleaning continues. She uses her walk-along-dog as a hoover and my gosh she puts some welly into it, getting into all the corners of the room. She also takes great pleasure in wiping the cupboards with a wet wipe. Long may her passion continue.

She has discovered cuddly toys. She will hold one tight and shower it with amorous kisses. Today Mr Polar Bear is the object of her affection.

The girl just loves to dance. And scream. For fun.

This discovery of her affectionate side extends to us too. On occasion she will cling onto Mr Scruff or me and plant a great big smacker on our lips. And yes, we grin from ear to ear.

Her smile lights up a room, her cuddle melts our hearts and the sound of her laughter is the biggest high. Anyone know how to bottle this all for keeps.

A mini break to Chewton Glen, New Forest!

We've been off again. This time to the New Forest. You see I am packing in the mini breaks whilst we are still three.

Mr Scruff and I have visited Chewton Glen once before. A fleeting visit to review the spa. This time our stay would be more leisurely - two nights with a child in tow.

Chewton Glen, every bit as good as it looks!

What I remember most from my first visit was the staff. Each and every one of them friendly and welcoming. And nothing has changed. Chewton Glen is a posh place, attracting the Bentley and Jaguar crew who arrive swathed in cashmere and loafers (and that's just the gents). We however rocked up in our dented Ford Focus, laden with multiple bags stuffed with odds and sods and looking just a bit too crumpled from the drive. Yet we were welcomed with open arms and were never once made to feel out of place.

Stunning grounds full of wisteria as well as wild flowers and lakes (and the obligatory croquet lawn and golf course!)

We headed straight to the beautifully austere lounge for a spot of lunch. Looking around the room Mr Scruff and I went into a panic. Is this really the sort of place to bring Little Miss P, who was at this time, rearranging the vases and narrowly avoiding the antler lamps. Well yes it is. When we were shown our spacious room, housekeeping had taken the trouble to lay out cushions and toys for Little Miss P and had set up a travel cot and bedding with a little JellyCatz gift.

Yes, that is Little Miss P watching TV in the bath!

Chewton Glen is about a ten minute walk to the sea. From the beautiful green grounds, you head through shady woodland until you emerge at a breathtaking expanse of sand and sea. The weather was glorious and we were so excited as this was the first time Little Miss P had seen the coastline. We took her out of the pram and in a second she darted straight for the sea! Plop, down she went, soaked through. Did she mind? Hell no, the smile on her face was brighter than the sun. She picked up sand throwing it and chased the whitewash coming into shore.

 Into the water....and up again! (this time with a handful of wet sand!)

Building castles!

We then built sandcastles and played in the sand. Beats your sandpit in the back garden eh P!

We headed back to Chewton Glen to get showered and ready for dinner. But not before we stopped off at their outdoor pool. The sun was shining on it and the gleaming blue was too tempting the pass. The heated pool is surrounded by wisteria and the outdoor shower has REN beauty products, plus there is a big ice cooler full of bottles of water. They really have thought of everything.

Showering al fresco....how tropical!

 The outdoor pool...with weather like this, we could have been in Greece!

 Little Miss P, getting into the swing of this lifestyle!

The kids menu can be served in the room or in the restaurant, so we headed down and sat with Little Miss P as she was served steak and chips like Queen Bee.

We then tucked her up in the cot and waited for the babysitter. We booked through Guardian Angels, as recommended by the hotel and our sitter was lovely. It cost about £70 for the two nights.

In the hotel bar, Mr Scruff and I enjoyed some cocktails and canapes (think little morsels of lobster and little risotto balls...mmmmm). The dining area spans the bright and light conservatory with views over the green lawns and the more intimate and cosy dining room. The food is exceptional. Most is locally sourced and presented as if it were the Great British Menu (including the Amuse Bouche).

The indoor pool is huge and leading off this is the hydrotherapy pool with heated beds and massage jets. Both Mr Scruff and I were booked in for treatments in the spa. I enjoyed a pregnancy facial and massage and he had a deep tissue massage. Both of us came out of our rooms looking like zombies our bodies were so relaxed. The therapists (especially Daniel the male therapist who massaged Mr Scruff), really know how to knead out the stress.

Day 2: collecting pebbles...a bit windy, but we didn't mind!

Nothing beats a stroll on the beach!

We had such a wonderful time. I mean it didn't go completely smoothly - on the first night Little Miss P would not settle and was screaming the room down till 2 am. Mr Scruff had to get her pram to rock her to sleep and we bickered through stress and panic about her waking all the guests, but that doesn't take anything away from Chewton Glen.

Yes it is pricey and a bit posh but the location is fabulous, the grounds breathtaking, the staff so incredibly friendly and helpful and the stay an absolute worthwhile treat.

30 weeks...

A moment, if you please, to just say, "Holy Moly, where is the time going?"

Hormones: Still raging. Mr Scruff is safe to come out from behind the sofa. There have been no more temper tantrums. Instead he has been on tissue duty. Yesturday after getting my tracksuit bottoms caught on the radiator, the flood gates opened.

The bump: Ever increasing. I cannot possibly stretch anymore. I feel my body is having some kind of 'dare' game with the baby. Hey kid - you win!

Activity: Lots. I cannot work out where he is as there are kicks in my bladder right up to kicks in my ribs. A mover and shaker.

Stretch marks: Hurrah, none new to show off. I am LOVING Decleor Aromessence Sculpt firming body concentrate and balm. I use the oil in the morning and balm in the evening, both times topped with lashings of the Perfect Sculpt Stretch Mark cream. By jove I think it's working.

Aches: Back. Is. Bad. Cleaning the window panes in the new nursery like a lunatic, not a good idea afterall. Am rather breathless too.

The nursery: Finally painted (can you hear the angels singing?) Its taken Mr Scruff a good few MONTHS but it looks great and, erm, white. No carpet or curtains or furniture yet.

Work: I can catch a glimpse of the light. Four more weeks and counting.

Names: Just the one still. Thinking it is THE ONE.

Sibling: Little Miss P is still showing my belly some love. We are getting her a bed this weekend. Advice would be appreciated. Silly question I know, but what does one use as bedding? A duvet? Sheets?

Wardrobe: Harem pants have been purchased. Before you scoff, they are incredibly comfy and the wide waistband means the bellowing starts at the hip so they are rather flattering too. For the little dude a cactus embroidered gro by Gap has been bought. May the baby boy shopping challenge commence.

Sleep: MUCH better thanks to the Dream Genie pillow donated by the lovely teawithonesugarplease . Thanks again!

Feeling: Scared. Labour fears creeping in. Tired. Excited.